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When Busy is Too
Busy Pay attention to your child’s schedule, watch for signs of stress A 12-year-old should not need a BlackBerry® to keep up with his or her day. But that almost seems to be the case as children have more opportunities for extracurricular activity than ever. From recreational sports leagues to computer camps, children have plenty of opportunity to keep busy.
“If your child is doing well at everything, then obviously the child is doing a good job of balancing his time,” Stavinoha said. “Maybe it seems to you that your child is awfully busy. But at the same time if the child is doing well and otherwise seems happy and well adjusted, then the activity level is OK.” Look for the signs “Talk to your child and say, ‘Let’s look at all the factors,’” Stavinoha said. “'Together let’s walk through this and figure out where some adjustments can be made.' Because in the end you want to use this as a teaching process for your kid and help your child prioritize and plan what’s important and what’s not so important.” What's it worth? Regardless, Stavinoha said there is not a generic rule parents should follow. It simply depends on the child. “If you have a child who truly is miserable and he's really given it a go, you have to think about what is to be gained from the situation,” he said. “Then the cost of quitting and having that as a model may make more sense than leaving your child in a terrible situation.” Stavinoha said it’s not a matter of quitting, and parents should not pull the plug too quickly. But in the end, there are cases where it is best for the child to do something different. “When a child does quit an activity, the idea would be to substitute that activity for something else,” he said. “The child doesn’t just quit and watch television. That’s where the fine line is drawn. Parents have to know what’s true misery versus what’s complaining.” For more parenting information and emotional health topics, visit the Children's Health Library. Last reviewed: January 2009 |
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But is that always a good thing? Pete Stavinoha,
Ph.D., a clinical neuropsychologist at Children’s, says it all depends on
the child.
