Chances are your child has a classmate with problems ranging from
hearing to mobility to learning. Parents play a vital role in how their
children relate to those who have physical or other
differences.
Pete Stavinoha, Ph.D., a psychologist at
Children’s Medical Center Dallas, recommends parents start by examining
their own feelings.
“Parents who feel unusually
uncomfortable around individuals with disabilities or who use
disrespectful words to describe the individuals set negative examples for
their children,” Dr. Stavinoha says. “Kids tend to emulate their parents’
attitudes and beliefs and run the risk of duplicating the behavior.”
Kids with disabilities from attention deficit
hyperactivity disorder to cerebral palsy can become especially frustrated
or sad, and that’s when they need a friend to talk to. Teach your child to
take time to ask children with disabilities how they are feeling and then
to be supportive. When possible, help your child include these classmates
in regular activities like going shopping, attending a birthday party or
coming over for pizza.
Open communication with your child
about classmates with disabilities is essential. The full impact of the
disability should be talked about honestly, because often, if children do
not know the truth, they will be left to invent their own answers to their
questions.
Helpful tips for parents
- The sooner you expose your children to those who have physical or
developmental differences, the more likely your children are to accept
differences as a part of life. Once your children are old enough, you
can help them become involved by volunteering at Children’s Medical Center or with
the Special Olympics.
- You can create perspective by reading about specific disabilities
and helping your children learn — for example, how cerebral palsy
affects muscles or how dyslexia makes it difficult to read. When
children have the appropriate context, it is much easier for them to
understand and accept differences.
- Parents should talk to their children about the negative affects of
teasing and how to appropriately respond when they encounter teasing. A
helpful tip is to arm your child with some phrases to avert teasing of a
classmate with a disability. An example includes, “Steven has to wear a
hearing aid because his ears don’t work like yours and mine, but that’s
no reason to make fun of him.” It’s important to let your child know
it’s appropriate to tell a teacher or coach if others are being teased
for having a disability. You can help your child learn simple sign
language if classmates have hearing disorders. Learning common signs
such as “hello” and “thank you” can have a positive impact.
Resources
Children’s Medical Center
