Talking to teens about sex is not easy, which is why many parents avoid the subject. However, experts say that informing children about sex is an important part of their health education.
   Parents must be prepared to help their teens with emerging sexual issues, says Kristy Hagar, Ph.D., a psychologist on the medical staff at Children's Medical Center Dallas. Otherwise, their teens could be risking early pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and emotional turmoil. 
   "The key thing for parents to remember is that your discussions with your teenager won't happen in a vacuum," Hagar says. "They will be a natural outgrowth of your overall relationship. So it is important to build an open, trusting relationship while children are still young."
   Studies show that about 55 percent of America's teenagers have experienced sexual intercourse by age 17. Some reasons teens give for having sex include peer pressure, curiosity, rebellion and a lack of understanding about love. Therefore, it is important for parents to find ways to approach the difficult subject of sex with their teens.

Here are a few suggestions:

• The direct approach is usually the best approach. In most cases, it is better to broach the subject of sexuality yourself, rather than waiting for an adolescent to seek you out. Why? If the child has questions, you want the answers to come from a mature, caring adult, and not from the child's peers.
• Parents also can look for openings. Use current events as an icebreaker. "Let's say you're watching the news on TV, and a story about teenage pregnancy comes up," Hagar says. "If you're on your toes, you can use that news story to begin a more personal discussion of sexual issues."
• When talking with their teens, parents should state how they feel. "Most teens are used to lectures and being told what to do," Hagar says. "When parents talk about their feelings, it helps make their children feel more at ease."
• Start with a comfortable subject and then once you have broken the ice, you can gradually move toward more difficult or embarrassing topics. It often helps to begin by sharing an experience you had at their age and ask them what they think or feel about similar situations they have experienced. "This typically facilitates a positive discussion that your teen will be able to understand," Hagar says.
• Sort out your own values in advance. Discuss with your teen the pros of postponing sexual activity until marriage, such as eliminating the risk of STD's, retaining their self-respect, developing fond memories of past relationships and enjoying adolescence rather than being forced to grow up too soon.
• Pediatricians can be an added resource. Giving information in a non-judgmental way allows adolescents the best opportunity to make healthy choices.
• Talk to other parents. Talking to parents who have already raised teenagers is another important key. "It can often produce suggestions that will help you communicate better with your own teen," Hagar says.

Resources
Children's Medical Center