A 12-year-old should not need a BlackBerry to keep
up with his or her day.
But that
almost seems to be the case as children have more opportunities
for extracurricular activity than ever before. From recreational
sports leagues to computer camps, children have plenty of opportunity
to keep busy.
But is that
always a good thing?
Pete Stavinoha,
Ph.D., a clinical neuropsychologist in the Center for Pediatric
Psychology at Children's, says it all depends on the
child.
"If your child is doing well at
everything, then obviously the child is doing a good job of balancing his
or her time," Stavinoha says. "Maybe it seems to you that
your child is awfully busy. But at the same time if the child is
doing well and otherwise seems happy and well adjusted, then the
activity level is OK."
Stavinoha
says to watch for any signs of stress or strain on the child, by
watching for signs of seeming tired or irritable. If grades begin
to suffer or practices are missed, those are signs it may be time
to talk with the child.
"Talk to your
child and say, 'Let's look at all the factors,'" Stavinoha
says. "Together let's walk through this and figure out where some
adjustments can be made. Because in the end you want to use this as
a teaching process for your kid, and help your child prioritize
and plan what's important and what's not so
important."
Stavinoha says a child may want to choose
his activities by what is more fun to him, or be more practical by
what my look better on a college application. Other times,
children may want to quit an activity because they simply aren't
good at it.
Regardless of the
situation, Stavinoha says there is not a generic rule parents should
follow. Again it simply depends on the child.
"If you've got a child who truly is miserable and
he's really given it a go, you have to think about what is to be
gained from the situation," he said. "Then the cost of quitting and
having that as a model may make more sense than leaving your child
in a terrible situation."
Stavinoha
says it's not a matter of quitting, and parents should not pull the
plug too quickly. But in the end, there are cases where it is best
for the child to do something different.
"When a child does quit an activity, the idea would be
to substitute that activity for something else," he said. "The
child doesn't just quit and watch television. That's where the fine
line is drawn. Parents have to know what's true misery versus
what's complaining."